When thinking about father’s day, the Backroom comics crew realized that some of comic’s greatest heroes were terrible fathers and some of comic-dom’s most reviled villains were pretty good dads.  So Chris Walker and Kevin decided to put together a little list of their top three worst dad’s who happen to be heroes, as well as the top 3 best dads who just so happen to try and take over the earth for a living.

Best Villainous Dads

1.Loki

Adopted son of Odin, known as The God of Lies and Mischief, IGN’s 8th greatest comic book villain of all time, Loki has been causing trouble for Asgard and Earth alike since 1949.  His plots against humanity and our defenders have been varied, epic, and unquestionably evil. Loki’s a bad, bad dude, no question.

That’s fathering, dear readers, plain and simple.

2.Thunderbolt Ross

You won’t find that in any of Dr. Spock’s guides, but I call it true parenting, my friends.

3.Magneto

Speaking of The Avengers, they actually concocted a plan in conjunction with The X-Men to kill Wanda (these are heroes?), which Magneto catches wind of and works with Quicksilver to have Wanda warp reality into The House of M, thereby saving his daughter’s life. The fact that he’s the ruler of this new reality is, I think, incidental to the larger point here, doing his level best to be a good father and grandfather, come to that.

Worst Heroic Fathers

1.Daddy Warbucks
Judging by the fact that the comic was just canceled due to lack of readership, I’m not the only one who wasn’t paying attention to the comic strip, Annie, but based on the last strip and the research I’ve done about the strip since then, Daddy Warbucks probably should be renamed Neglecty Warbucks.  Warbucks, a millionaire, adopts precocious orphan Annie but instead of giving her all of the advantages that wealth can bring, he thinks its a great idea to encourage some non-standard after-school activities with some ridiculous suggestions. “Annie, there are some dangerous Mobsters roughing up some folks down at the Senior Center, go see if you can teach ‘em a lesson or two” or “Oh Annie dear, there was a mine cave-in at one of my most profitable mines.  You’re little, can you crawl down there and see if anyone survived?”; “Hey Annie, there’s a German U-Boat off the coast, blow it up good will you?”* The level of child endangerment that Warbucks allowed or actively encouraged over her 80 years in print is positively Bruce-Waynian!

*Two of those plotlines were a bit of hyperbole on my part, one wasn’t.  Can you guess which one?

2.Spider-Man

Back in the 90s, during the terrible, awful no good very bad Clone Saga, it was revealed that Mary Jane Watson was preggers with Peter Parker’s kid.  How did good ol’ Pete respond to this news?  Well first he smacked MJ “by accident” and then, once the baby was born and immediately kidnapped by the Green Goblin his reaction (along with Marvel comic’s as well)was basically to shrug his shoulders and forget about the kid.  Seriously, check his Marvel.com bio right now, nowhere under his “known relations” does it even mention a kid.  No wonder Pete convinced Mephisto to give him a do-over on his life; it wasn’t to save Aunt May it was to duck his responsibility for a kid of his that was still out there.  I’m hoping this all comes to a head someday in the Marvel Universe’s version of a Maury Povich paternity show.

3.Cyclops

I know what you’re thinking, “Scott Summers?  The guy is a do-gooder who even Jacob, the X-Mansion’s hall monitor think is a square .  How is he the worst father in comics?” I’m glad you asked because the evidence is pretty damning.
1.He had a child, Nathan Summers, with a demonic clone of his then dead girlfriend.  I think that all of us, even those that fall on the Nurture side of the Nature v. Nurture debate, can agree that a child who is half demon doesn’t have much of a leg-up in life.  So there’s one point against Scott when it comes to his mate-choosing skills.
2.Because he’s an anti-inoculation nut-job Scott refused to give baby Nate his DTPT-Diptheria, Tetanus, Pertussis & Techno-Organic Virus shots and so when Nate inevitably caught the TO virus, Scott decided that the best solution was not to call Reed Richards, Tony Start, Forge, Hank McCoy & Professor X (all who he has on speed-dial) for help but to instead send his son to the future with a girl who claimed to be an alternate universe child of his.  Out of sight, out of mind eh Scott?
3.This son who Scott sent to the future, eventually came back in time full of daddy issues that he expressed as the 90s-XTRRREEEEEEEM anti-hero Cable who then released a virus among comic creators & execs that gave us 10 years of terrible comics full of polybags, gritted teeth and pouches.

Its because of this single parental disaster that the health clinic at Xavier’s Academy for Gifted Youngsters gives out more condoms than the officials at the Olympic Village.

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