Like many Americans, I love watching the commercials during the Super Bowl. That’s not to say I am not a football fan- on the contrary, I love watching a good game. But what makes the commercials during the Super Bowl so awesome is that companies look at their 30 seconds of fame as being the one moment a year that they can make a huge impact, so they tend to go all out. For the most part, commercials that run during the Super Bowl tend to use top name talent and can cost more to film than a half hour episode of most television shows. Most of all, these commercials tend to be funny… At least, I usually found them to be so.

A few years ago, however, a good friend of mine who is a recovering alcoholic brought something to my attention about some of the “humor” in many of these commercials that caused me to rethink how funny they were. He pointed out that while the punch lines for all of the beer commercials were different from year to year, they all play on the same riff- that people “love” a specific beer so much they forget everything else. In the confines of the commercial, it’s played for laughs… but preferring alcohol over Human relationships is a sign of addiction and not a laughing matter in real life.

Today’s lesson in Failure is: Know When to say When.

In trying to figure out how to present today’s Lesson, I came up with the blunt way and the more gentle way. Since I have no idea which will get through to YOU, I will present both and you can take from either approach what you will.

The blunt version: Comics are not all there is to life, and if you are choosing between doing comics and your family or having friends or playing with your kids or whatever your day-to-day life has in it, then you need to cut that crap out NOW. You only have one shot at life, no matter what Buddha tried telling you, so while drive and striving for excellence is all good, if you feel you have to do either Comics or have good Human relationships and that’s all the time & energy you have in this life, then F-n dump the Comics “career” and kiss a girl or something. You’ll live longer, be happier and find out that kissing girls is actually more fun than they elude to in the movies…

The gentle version:   Comics are not all there is to life, and if you are choosing between doing comics and your family or having friends or playing with your kids or whatever your day-to-day life has in it, then you need to cut that crap out NOW. Yes, doing Comics the right way takes time and commitment and energy, but stealing that energy from someone else and basically “punishing” them for your drive isn’t any better than if you are choosing Heroin or Booze or Gambling over your loved ones. And by “loved ones,” I am not referring to a longbox of mint comics- I mean the people you SHOULD love in your life.

There is a reason why most successful Artists, Writers & creative people either have get divorced frequently or are single, and that’s because A) They are selfish bastards and B) It’s very hard to cultivate family support for creative projects in the early stages of “success,” when there essentially is none. If you start a creative career where everything is about YOU rather than looking at the people in your life as valuable and important, you set in motion something that’s hard to break.

Why?

Well, riddle me THIS, Batman: Why would anyone want to support you in doing something where the more successful you become, they less that person will matter to you?

If you have been reading my column, you know that doing Comics takes skill, commitment, drive and hard work. The other thing you should also know by now, however, is that nothing in guaranteed even if you DO put in all that effort. What I can guarantee, however, is if you are a narcissistic, egocentric, self absorbed idiot and you miss the opportunity to be a real person and have a real life, even huge Comic book success will be empty.

On the other hand, if you cultivate your relationships with other Humans and put some of that drive and love you are willing to give to comics and invest it in other people, it is never a failure. What will happen in that scenario is one of two things- either you will receive those good things back from a Human being who can actually Love you and care about you, or you will find people who value you and move on. In the end, however, to be successful in Comics means you treat it the same way that a sanitation worker treats their work- as a job and not something that is worth being addicted to.

Yes, there are only so many hours in a day. And Yes, if you want to put out quality comics, it takes hard work which takes time. But if you really, truly can’t squeeze a moment for Comics into your day without neglecting actual people, then choose people over Comics every time.

Now, to be honest, most of the time it’s not that cut and dry. Say you have been spending a few hours a week playing Halo on Xbox live- trading that for making Comics is fine. And maybe it means you take the occasional weekend and have a table at a Comic Con- again, fine, because those things are finite.

What I am talking about is not forgetting what should make life worth living. You only have one shot at life- think before you waste it, because no one knows how long it all will last. Keep your perspective and your values in balance with what is important, and Comics will be the gravy in life they were meant to be. Fail at Life, and the rest won’t matter in the end anyway…

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