According to the Marvel promo for the upcoming Daken and X-23 solo titles, “With Logan in Hell, the fight for Wolverine’s mantle begins!” Battle for the Cowl!  Er, the “claws!”

Am I supposed to be excited about this?  All I’m feeling is some pretty overwhelming “whatever.” Wolverine is always going to be Wolverine.  You know and I know it.  Wolverine isn’t a title or a job–he doesn’t stand for anything, he’s not a symbol like Captain America or Batman.  Half of the time Wolvie is out of costume anyway!  He doesn’t care, he will snikt a bub in his pajamas, I mean, if Wolverine wears pajamas.  Does Wolverine wear pajamas? If so, are they Spiderman underoos?  And really, what the hell does wearing the Wolverine mantle even entail?  You get to say “bub” and smoke cigars?  Kill people all the time but you’re still a hero and everyone loves you?  I think you also get a loli sidekick and when she gets too old for you, you get to pick out a fresh one.  I assume that if Daken prevails, he gets one of each gender.

I guess I don’t really care who wins either way.  I mean, on the one hand, Daken is a whiny loser-baby who should have grown out of his daddy issues 30 years ago.  On the other hand, X-23 is a terrible mishmash of cliché, crap and recycled Cass Cain/Batgirl storylines.  She also has claw feet and that’s just stupid.

What I know for sure:  a giant wave of sniktcest unlike any the world has ever seen is going to hit the internet one hot minute after the X-23/Daken fight comes out.  Like even worse than what happened after Jack Harkness kissed the Doctor AND Rose.

Of course, my biggest concern with all this is that Daken’s new costume doesn’t have a hole in the top for his mohawk to come through.  What is the point of having a cool mohawk if you’re not gonna show it off?

Popularity: 3% [?]